


Reflections of what we are

by NatMatryoshka



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Fluff, Hands, Mention of Past Abuse, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Reylo - Freeform, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, Tumblr: reylofanfictionanthology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-26 12:39:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13235919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatMatryoshka/pseuds/NatMatryoshka
Summary: Your life started on Jakku.Then we met, and our destinies became one.[A series of short fics written for The Last Jedi Flash Fic Challenge, by Reylo Fanfiction Anthology on Tumblr.]





	1. Jakku

**Jakku**

 

Jakku: a faraway planet, unknown to many, loved by few. The most desertic world you could ever imagine, except maybe for Tatooine: there’s only sand, on Jakku. Sand and heat, temperatures that melt plastech during the day and freeze you to the bones in the night, sandstorms.

People too seem to be made of sand and heat, hardened by merciless winds. Some of them are rude, it’s almost impossible to discover a smile under the big hats and pieces of fabric that cover their faces. Some of them had known pain, yet can offer you kindness, as a merciful benefactor who saves you from a sandstorm, giving you the help you needed.

For many of its inhabitants, Jakku is a curse, a word they don’t like to pronounce out loud: they live, love and make deals under the sun, dreaming the day they will be far. Thugs and bounty hunters got used to it, they’d started to like its variable climate, even the sand that fills your clothes when the wind blows. Every person has its own story, on Jakku, even the most insignificant scavenger. A story to tell or to hide, it depends.

Jakku’s her cradle: Rey has learned to live through its obstacles, to survive all the nights alone. She remembers well the little thing she was when her parents left her: a scared girl yelling two names from the top of her lungs, tugged at her arm by Unkar Plutt’s slimy hands. The scavenger she became day after day, trying her best only to earn water, money, food, a safe place to sleep. You’re strong, she whispers to herself, hugging her knees tightly against her chest. _You’re brave. You did well. You don’t have to pretend to be a fearless girl, always the best at everything she does. Relax. Breathe. Be proud of yourself. You’re strong. You’re brave._

She slept, woke up, walked through the desert, scavenged. She got out from the ruins, metal monsters incapable of fighting, ate her miserable meal, sold pieces for a few portions. Then she came home, and dreamed. Dreamed of a family who had to leave her behind, yet desperately wanted to have her back. Of a wise old man, a beautiful woman dressed in blue.

“Tell me more”, he murmurs. He’s half naked, his luscious lips curved in a half-smile, still languid from the beginning of his sleep. Her lips are so close to his cheek she can fill her nose with his scent. “Tell me another story about Jakku.”

She giggles, then places her lips on his hair, caressing the soft curls. Jakku lies behind her closed eyelids, a story between many others: she remembers everything about those nights. She remembers hope, a tiny fragment always in her heart.

Rey keeps on caressing his black locks, whispering her stories. In the meanwhile, Ben Solo falls asleep.

 

 

 

 

**This is where you started from.**


	2. Forest

**Forest**

 

Green leaves, brown soil. A gentle smell, full of secrets never told, soaked with different stories of battlefields and peaceful times. Takodana.

Rey breathes in: the air cuts through her lungs as sharp as a knife, but she can’t pay attention to the new sensation. She must run, leave behind what she had just discovered, run and forget everything she saw in her vision. The trees surround her, a personal group of bodyguards dressed in green, and she can’t help but feel a little safer between them. She breathes out, slowly.

Kylo Ren walks behind her, unnoticed. She only hears his sword turning on, a red glow surrounding her like an aura. The moment after, the world collapses around her and Kylo takes her in his arms before she can touch the ground.

He’s… _gentle_? She doesn’t know why, but his arms almost seem to cuddle her, like a boy does with something he wants to protect so bad. Concern. Rey could clearly feel it, behind that dreadful mask, inside his heart, the heart of a scared, little boy. Even if she’s lost her senses.

Two white troops march alongside him, but he doesn’t ask them to carry the girl: Kylo Ren holds her in his arms as a bride, while he walks towards his moving castle without a word. They silently follow him.

She’s important to that man, but he couldn’t tell anyone why. Shielded by the most ancient tree in the forest, he leaves with his ship. The girl in his arms sleeps, dreaming about the forest where she lost herself: a princess dressed all in white, strolling between emerald arms that try to ruffle her hair, comforted by a gentle breeze. A young soul forged by desert winds and resilience, on her knees while she lightly touches a flower, eyes full of pure wonder.

Stories will be told, in the future. Stories about them, about that moment. But they still don’t know.

 

 

 

 

 

**This is where we met once.**


	3. Fingers

**Fingers**

 

He starved for a touch, even the slightest, for years.

When Ben was a child, his mother was never around: only the Force knows how much he longed for a simple hug, a kiss on his hair… yet his parents had their problems, politic matters, a life far from his. Only a voice accompanied him, lulling the boy he was during his sleep, whispering seductive compliments to his ears. But when it comes to show affection – no, that man didn’t know what affection was. He manipulated his mind, then hurt his body, made him fight until his arms and legs ached, bled.

_You are nothing. Stupid child, incapable child, Vader’s nephew who will never be as strong as his grandfather. A waste of time. But… if you follow me…_

 

His hands only created bruises.

 

Rey’s ones are soft, so tiny: her fingers caress his slender ones for a minute that seems longer than a decade. At first her touch was so delicate, almost hesitant, but after a little time she got accustomed to him. Now she runs her hand down his chest, cherishing every little shiver, memorizing the little curve that bends his lips when he enjoys those moments. She likes his hands so much. Feeling them on her hips, on her breasts, when he holds her in his arms with his eyes closed, trying to stop the world around them. And when they cuddle, when Ben lays his head on her chest to hear her heart beating, he waits for the moment he can hold her hand, intertwine his fingers with hers, and breathe.

 

 

 

**This is how we touched, for the first time.**


	4. Mirror

**Mirror**

 

 

Once upon a time, there was a little boy.

He lived with his family, with a scoundrel for father and a princess as his mother. At first, he was a little prince. Then he became a Jedi: brown clothes, a long padawan braid, his new lightsaber, with a heart of kyber, blue. He followed his uncle on an island, fought and learned, but at the end of the day he felt alone. So alone.

Then, he found a mirror in a cave. A large, transparent surface challenged him: _ask me something, little boy. Would you like to put your worst fears to sleep?_

 

_How can I be sure of that?_ he replied. For the first time, his voice shook.

_Just try. Don’t you want to see who you really are? Who you will be?_

 

He faced the mirror, water damping his soft, black curls, the locks his mother loved to mess up. Fear clutched his throat and he firmly shut his eyes: when he opened them, after a moment, he was not alone anymore. A petite girl sat in a corner, hugging her knees to the chest, hair tied in three brown buns.

A sad face, tears streaming down two soft cheeks covered in dirt. _She’s so alone_ , he thought. _Just like me._ He looked at her, thinking about joyful past moments with his father, in the Falcon’s cockpit, with his mother on Naboo, when he was only three or four, his uncle’s Chewie roaring laughter, tried to send those sensations to her, to wipe away her tears. Yet, she still cried and cried, and Ben’s hands slightly trembled in frustration.

_You’re not alone_ , he whispered a single sentence looking at the mirror. The little girl raised her head, and tears stopped all of a sudden. _You’re not alone_ , he murmured again, until her pale image turned to misty strands and then disappeared, replaced by a mask.

He stepped back from the surface. _What does it mean?_ he asked, but he hadn’t an answer back. The boy in front of him removed his helmet, revealing a large scar drenched in blood. His brown eyes pierced Ben’s soul, made his heart skipping a beat.

 

_They’ll call you monster_ , whispered the man behind the helmet. _But something can change._

 

The helmet fell off, his once dreadful mask crumbled into dust. The prince recognized him: he was a part of his soul. The loneliest one, the boy who desperately seek greatness, recognition.

When he fell asleep, he forgot everything about the cave and that night. Dreams and strands of conversations confused his sleepy mind at night, training and exercises occupied his days. He was going to be a Jedi, the greatest of them all. Like his grandfather before him.

He forgot everything. Except for the little girl.

 

 

 

Once upon a time, there was a girl. A scavenger on Jakku, not a princess.

She lived by day and night, survived and listened to stories. Other scavengers and merchants told her stories, and Rey loved those stories: they make her feel alive, nourished her curious mind. But the desert isn’t the best place to live when you’re only a lonely child, abandoned by your parents. Cold nights were always the hardest part to survive.

During a night colder than the others, she curled up in a tiny ball and whispered to herself: _they still love you._ She murmured those words again and again, until another voice answered, but it wasn’t an adult one.

_You’re not alone._

Every day the scavenger visited old wreckages, collected scraps and valuable parts, relics from a past she knew nothing about. She sold them, exchanged those dusty pieces for some portions of stale food. Listened to the stories she adored, looked at the sunset imagining a past life, her mother’s hands, her father’s laughter.

Every night, she lied in her bed made of old rags and tried to lull herself to sleep, waiting for that voice. The boy gave her some sort of relief with his words: _you’re brave, you’re not alone. We’re similar, me and you. We won’t be alone anymore._

She didn’t know his name, yet she felt like she could trust him.

 

 

 

 

**This is where we found ourselves, our true selves.**


	5. Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five prompts for five small flash-fics: it's always a good exercise for me, to write in English following my inspiration, and I have to thank the RFFA lovely mods for this chance.   
> And... thanks to all of you, dear readers! For your love, kudos and nice comments. I hope you'll like these chapters as I loved writing them!

**Balance**

 

“Balance” said Master Luke. It was a calm day on Ahch-To, the wind caressed her face swiftly, spreading its song around, along with petals and invisible grains of dust. She touched the stone under her fingers: it was warm. No more cold, slippery rocks to make her steps precarious, only a familiar warmth, something reassuring.

 

_Balance._

 

If she had ever been courageous and strong, sometimes even a bit stubborn, but also kind and calm like the waves at dawn, every force twisting her heart was resting during that moment. _Relax, listen to the Force. Listen how it calls to you. Embrace its power, it can’t hurt you._

She inhaled deeply, savoring all the smells the island offered her: salty air, dried seaweeds good to eat, fragrant moss growing on the highest rocks. Porgs’ nests smell of soft plumage, small branches and straw filaments bunched up to create a cozy place to sleep. The wind brought along their song too and Rey smiled, finally a bit more serene.

But what does “balance” really mean? To live between light and dark, fury and tranquility? To be sometimes touched by angry feelings, waiting for them to be replaced with something different, like a wave of peace to wash them away? It has been a long time since she has left the island, yet she’s still unsure of how to manage that question.

Ben sleeps next to her, lost in some dreams she doesn’t know about. His full lips closed, he lightly breathes in and out, murmuring confuse, senseless words: he’s so similar to a child, worn out after playing all day, so tender and vulnerable. Rey looks at his eyes closed, his nose kissed by the moonlight, at how he’s handsome and strong, dressed in all his mistakes and bravery. She lays a kiss on his chest, careful not to wake him up.

They’ve fought together again, like that day in front of Snoke: fought together, not one against the other. She had felt all of his power, that wave of fury that charged her heart, seeping through her gestures and fight after fight, she had learned the right moves to do. She only has to give him some calmness as a gift, hold back his impetuosity, to dance listening to the song their bodies sing while they move. It’s not so difficult as she thought the first time: she can understand Ben like they’re parts of something spliced in two.

 

_Balance._

 

Maybe she has the answer she was looking for, she thinks to herself while caressing Ben’s hair.

Maybe that’s her balance, and nothing can be simpler than their marvelous, unexpected bond.

Maybe he’s her home, her family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**This is where we meet again. Don’t you think?**

**Author's Note:**

> I have to thank so much this new challenge and the Reylo Fanfiction Anthology, because I haven't experienced so much inspiration since months. I wrote this short story directly in English without translating it from Italian: I still have to improve, but it's a small step. And I have to thank my bae Ailisea too, for her loving support ❤


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